Thoughts Pre-Japan

This term has gone so fast... I guess because for everyone else it's not actually over yet, it's just the end of my mini term in which I don't have any lectures but I try (and succeed) to make myself as busy as is humanly possible.

I barely had time to write down any of it. However, these are the bits I feel are important...

1. My hair stopped looking like this:

and started looking like this: 

But we had a Blue Party to celebrate, so that was all right:

2. Robin and I ordered Domino's and in the little box where it asks if you have any special requests, asked that they draw a lion on the box. We received this:

And my life was complete.

3. It snowed, a lot for South West England, but a little in comparison to Stockholm.

4. I went to see a couple of role models of mine, but that one I did have time to write about...

5. Finally, I got excited about the prospect of spending four months in Japan, studying. Oh, boy.

Delicious sweetie Ramen was made, a Christmas present from Ellie, a friend who knows me incredibly well, and the totoros looked on.

The food in Japan is one of the greatest things I look forward to ^_^

But there we are! A snapshot(s) of what I've been up to here in ole England, and now I can draw somewhat of a line under everything for 4 months of blogging in a slightly different format.

There are so many people I want to tell my adventures to about my time in Nagoya, and a lot of the time I'll hope to do so in person. However, I'd like a record of my 4 months of study for myself if for no one else, so I'm going to try and post every Sunday, an update of what's been happening that week. There'll still be other posts, such as Lifescouts stories, and if anything particularly cool happens, there'll probably be a whole story on that.

If I can remember to a) take photos and b) upload them every week, I will be so impressed with myself.

Happy readings!

Yours, packing frantically,

Abby

The Lull

These are thoughts born of three thousand words. Specifically, three thousand words I wrote in the form of an essay critiquing the performance which created the first real spark I've experienced of what I would like to be 'when I grow up'. Some of the sentences in the essay were better than that.

I had a long time to complete the essay, and I spent a long time completing the essay. The stages of research, of library trips, of referencing, of painstakingly removing the excess of approximately fifty words, reminded me or proved to me that I made the right decision in putting three more years of my life in the hands of education. Whether my future turns out to be practical or theoretical, I feel I am gaining a solid foundation of both here.

As I have done before, writing these thoughts before I know the grade I received for the collection of my three thousand little words seems preferable to after. Unbiased and unclouded, I want to remember how I am feeling now, at the completion of The Longest Thing I Have Ever Written, and uninfluenced by the judgement of another.

I go to Japan to study abroad for 4 months in a matter of weeks. With Mr 3,000 out of the way, my schedule is free from work until I venture to libraries on a different continent. It is not free from two plays, one musical, frisbee tournaments, a job and work experience. Yet I have encountered a pleasing lull in university life, felt especially on a sunny Saturday afternoon with nothing in particular to do. I've had time to reflect on how ridiculous the last year and a half has been. Partying, writing, shopping, cooking, reading, socialising, travelling. How terrible it is that the activities which are to most a matter of course at university have the ability to drag you down.

Of the people I know well, I can't think of a single one who hasn't struggled at some point along the way. I remember the talk we went to in our Freshers Week; amusing, innuendo-ridden, and concluding with the overall message that this won't be easy, and no-one will plain-sail through the ocean of books, relationships and Life that stretches out. The most fitting adjective so far, to describe the situation of being almost exactly half-way through a degree, is 'overwhelming'. At times it feels this whole process is to show me just how much I will never know. The points I could have explored further in that essay, if only I'd had the time and space!

Everyone feels their head slipping under the tirade at some point, and it doesn't even matter if it's not to do with an assignment specifically. The human interaction you're forced into, the cooking you must learn to do, the time you must find to learn words and train and practice, all of this is the experience of being at university, and it's not shameful to have a hard time dealing with any of it. There are so many clichés I could type, but I am loathe to do so. Just try to break out of the isolation you feel, because there is someone else who understands how you feel, and if they don't, they want to keep you company while you feel it. This is new to us all, and we all have moments when we struggle with the onslaught.

Personally, I've been dwelling on the plays I will never have the funds to see, the books time to read, or the places the ability to travel to. A needlessly sad enterprise, as it happens, and I think what I'm learning currently is that the most important factor in my life are indeed those choices we make. As much as I would have liked to, I cannot study ALL the subjects at university, so how much does it mean that Drama and English stole the top spot? As much as I would like to, I cannot learn ALL the things, so think how much emphasis it puts on the knowledge I have gained, and will gain. I have the ability here to decide exactly what the most important things are, and learn about them. Even if that's only my opinion, how incredible. That's why I've just bought a book about the Natural History Museum.

So continue, fast-paced, poorly funded, terrifying degree. All that you're bringing with you I can face, because I choose to.

Yours, head-on,
Abby

Resolving to stay the same

I don't think I like resolutions made in January. Yes, it's a new calendar year, but what in your life is actually changing? For me, not a great deal. If you recall, I made my resolutions at the end of August for the new Academic year which lay ahead of me. I've completed all of them, too. When you're about to start something new, like a job or hobby, or when you're changing situation, such as house or partner or country, I think then is a good time to make changes. You are aware that you're not going to be able to continue the way you lived before, so changes have to be made. When your life is going to continue on exactly as it did in 2012, for what reason are you going to change? Where is the motivation going to come from, if you don't already have it?

I don't like setting myself up to fail, and to me it seems that trying to start a hundred things at a random point in your journey through something (in this case, my second year in university), is just that. It's cold, wet and miserable, it's a time of relaxation, so you're going to be fighting against the break your body and mind needs, and you probably don't have enough time to set up a new habit before your life continues after the holidays.

However, my goal here is not actually to crush people's hopes and dreams. Being a holiday, you're probably going to have more time on your hands, and as a seemingly big change is about to occur, that of the changing of the year, it is a natural time to reflect. So when you're thinking about the ways in which you'd like to change your life, make it a bit easier for yourself. Keep your resolutions:

• Achievable and realistic
• Quantifiable If you can't measure your success, you're more likely to become frustrated and give in
• Few Trying to make one new habit or change one thing about yourself is much more likely to succeed than ten
• Within your best interests Chasing someone who's not worth you, caving into advertising or false perceptions of beauty etc seem to be common themes in New Year's Resolutions

Despite everything I've said, I do have ways in which I would like this year to go, and so, though I don't want to call them resolutions, these are the things I will continue to do, and possibly do more of or improve on:

1. Surround myself with people who make me feel good improve my life by being in it. I have some very valuable friends, but I need to learn that some people don't consider my feelings in the way that they - that everyone's - deserve to be considered. I do not need these people around.
2. Have adventures. They are fun.
3. Experiment with *stuff* outside my comfort zone. What a terrible word, but I wanted to leave it open. I want to do new things :)

That's enough! I don't want to complicate my already-busy existence with changes I don't need to make. I need to be safe, happy, and... No, that's it actually. If anything in my life is pulling either of those aspects down, and I can do something about it, it's gonna have to go.

Laci Green has a lot to say on the subject of body confidence, staying healthy (in ways you sometimes forget about) and accepting others. I think people's resolution should be to learn from her more :)

Laci's Tumblr

Laci's Youtube channel

Good luck with everything you wish to achieve.

Yours, happily,

Abby