Housing advice

Apologies for my lack of updates! Apparently, semesters in Japan do not organise themselves...

So here is something relatively light, but topical, I feel, to a great many students at this time of year.

When buying a house! What I think it's important to consider, from my first year's experience of choosing somewhere to live, and not doing it very well:

1. Decide if you prefer bills included - so you don't have to feel guilty switching on a light or cooking your dinner, and don't feel a tiny urge to ask guests to pay for having showers - or bills not included, which is slightly more stressful, but will usually be substantially cheaper in the long run.
2. Tumble-drier/airing cupboard - or ANYWHERE to dry clothes, so that there are not constant loads of washing heaped on every radiator and airer available, and you still end up lugging loads of laundry up to your boyfriend's house in an attempt to commandeer his house's tumble-drier
3. Kitchen table - I have no idea how we didn't notice this one when we looked round houses last year, but we didn't. Lesson learned. Kitchen table necessary.
4. Shower which runs off gas, not electricity. Especially if bills are not included, or this one gets pricey.
5. A thermostat away from all other electrical devices. Apparently, this is a thing.
6. Not too much greenery in the back garden - there will be no light in your house, and I mean ever, and it will be freezing cold in July.
7. Selflessness. Yes, you know what you want from a room, of course you want the most convenient storage space, ooh look, that one has the double bed. But it's important to remember that you're about to sign away (at least) a year of your life to living with others, and it wouldn't be the best idea to open hostilities this early. Keep in mind that you can make your room individual without the help of acres of space, and that if you have a tiny room, or the worst shelf, or an infestation of wolves, you can use this to take advantage of your housemates later on.
8. Cleaning rota. This year I've learnt it's important to be honest early on. Where you are on the scale of how clean you want to keep the house, or if noise is going to bother you after (or before) a certain time, how often you're going to have friends round. It helps if everyone's on the same page.

I've genuinely loved moments of living in my first ever 'house' house away from Home, and most of those were due to some particularly delicious house-mates. I have learnt a great deal though, and I'm thankful to have the opportunity of practising how to live in a house with people for a year, before having to go out into the world and living somewhere super long-term.

Good luck to all embarking on New House expeditions.

Yours, homely,

Abby

Selfish

There are but a couple of things in life that get me really, and truly angry. One of those is when people stand too close to the luggage carousel in the airport. I mean, come on. It's not gonna make your bags arrive any faster and if you just stand a foot away, we can all see!

Selfishness, is the other. We all have to live together in one world, don't we? It might be lovely if we could all just care about the things that concern us. My life would be so much easier if my actions only affected me. Unfortunately however, they don't. Pretty much everything I do will have a knock-on effect on someone else, and a lot of the time it's difficult to tell if it's going to be negative or positive:

"Should I break up with him now, or let him carry on thinking we're right for each other?"

"This top is similar to the one Jess has, do you think she'll be flattered or will she think I'm copying her?"

"Do I tell her that her bag's ridden her skirt up and I can see her knickers?"

But every so often comes a situation where it seems so painfully obvious what the right, or wrong thing to do is, that I can't believe something different to that has happened.

If you're moving out of a house soon and the rest of your housemates will still be there, how would you leave it? Would you get the bathroom filthy and throw a party in the living room for your housemates to clean up?

If someone has cleaned your entire house from top to bottom, what would you do? Very carefully tramp mud into every single stair so that same person would have to scrub them clean?

I can't help feeling that life would be so much easier if we all gave and took in the same amounts. The problem is that it's quite difficult to point out when someone's being so painfully selfish.

Oh well, it was one of my New Year's Resolutions to stick around people who actually care about my feelings, I guess this is just encouragement to stick to that.

Cheer Up

Let's face it. The only factor which really has an effect on your mood, is you. Admittedly, some emotions are uncontrollable. The act of laughter, the intensity of crippling pain, emotional or physical, and the effect it has on you. But that's fleeting. One day in your life spent curled in bed is nothing. I have about 30,059 more to live through cheerfully, and at this stage remaining unhappy would simply be negligence.

Life is not predictable, and we have very little control over it. If we were never sad, we'd never know when we were happy. If we were never scared, we'd never realise that we were safe. If we never failed, we'd never know the exultation of achievement.

I need to learn that such is the course of it all. I need to realise that without the balance I wouldn't appreciate how wonderful my world actually is. I need to understand the dependence I have on the network of people around me. My mother, promising that I will never have to live on 50 pence bread alone. The rest of my family, keeping in touch and visiting and solidly present when I need them. Amy and Robin, making me surprises of hot chocolate (made of chocolate!) and chocolate cake (with nutella on top!) when I need it. My frisbee crew, asking if I'm all right and saying they missed me on Saturday. The strangers in the shop who ask how I am, and genuinely seem to mean it, and with whom I have a little chat. Having ridiculous amounts of fun choreographing a piece for Drama, and planning costumes and props and music. My best friends from home, and the day I get to see them again drawing closer. When I line them all up like this and there's more, I can't imagine how I could ever find myself feeling unhappy.

So what if things haven't quite gone my way? I'm not a believer in cosmic plans, but there is always something waiting around the corner, and now I'll have time to meet it full on. When I know what it is, I'll let you know.

It's time to stop indulging in false misery. For one thing, I haven't the time, but also because, when I think it through, I'm not really miserable at all.

Yours, cheerfully
Abby

The Fox House

It has happened. I am moved in. Why is this for certain now and not three days ago when I arrived? Because, quoting The Incredibles here, I've finally unpacked the last box! I adored my uni accommodation room. It was a good size, only 2 years old, and always seemed so clean. There was a giant pin-board and a full-length mirror and an ensuite, and it was lovely. It does not compare to this. I barely decorated my room last year, it didn't feel enough like my space to go batty with it. This year, all change! This year, my room is MINE. As previously posted, it is gloriously tiny, with no free space making it look big and empty. The walls are covered, and I mean covered, with my posters (Van Gogh Cherry Blossoms, Alex and his Droogs, Plan of the Ghibli Museum, and Flight of the Conchords) photos of all the fabulous people I've met and places I have been in my life, a pin-board overflowing onto the walls with tickets and postcards and letters from my friends, and with all my necklaces hanging from pins. A giant flag with every flag in the world on the ceiling, and Chinese lantern fairy lights and hand-made bunting hanging around. A panda rug covers the only floor space left, and I have a plan for the remaining ceiling space too...

How full my room is should accurately depict just how in love with it I am. My real home will always be in the village where I grew up, but, boy does this place come close. The house-mates are slowly filtering in too, making it seem so much more like home. Just two more of them to move in, and I can't wait until we're all here. The six of us would very often go out as a group together in first year, and for one thing it'll be so much easier logistically when we're all together! The dressing-up box is ready and waiting in the front room for the first BOP!s...

Happy bustling is still going on, so life in Uni Town won't grow static before term starts. Cupboards are being shared out, hot water being understood, and a couple of nights out have happened already. So speaking of which, there's a fridge which needs cleaning of mould...

Yours, hygienically,
Abby