Housing advice

Apologies for my lack of updates! Apparently, semesters in Japan do not organise themselves...

So here is something relatively light, but topical, I feel, to a great many students at this time of year.

When buying a house! What I think it's important to consider, from my first year's experience of choosing somewhere to live, and not doing it very well:

1. Decide if you prefer bills included - so you don't have to feel guilty switching on a light or cooking your dinner, and don't feel a tiny urge to ask guests to pay for having showers - or bills not included, which is slightly more stressful, but will usually be substantially cheaper in the long run.
2. Tumble-drier/airing cupboard - or ANYWHERE to dry clothes, so that there are not constant loads of washing heaped on every radiator and airer available, and you still end up lugging loads of laundry up to your boyfriend's house in an attempt to commandeer his house's tumble-drier
3. Kitchen table - I have no idea how we didn't notice this one when we looked round houses last year, but we didn't. Lesson learned. Kitchen table necessary.
4. Shower which runs off gas, not electricity. Especially if bills are not included, or this one gets pricey.
5. A thermostat away from all other electrical devices. Apparently, this is a thing.
6. Not too much greenery in the back garden - there will be no light in your house, and I mean ever, and it will be freezing cold in July.
7. Selflessness. Yes, you know what you want from a room, of course you want the most convenient storage space, ooh look, that one has the double bed. But it's important to remember that you're about to sign away (at least) a year of your life to living with others, and it wouldn't be the best idea to open hostilities this early. Keep in mind that you can make your room individual without the help of acres of space, and that if you have a tiny room, or the worst shelf, or an infestation of wolves, you can use this to take advantage of your housemates later on.
8. Cleaning rota. This year I've learnt it's important to be honest early on. Where you are on the scale of how clean you want to keep the house, or if noise is going to bother you after (or before) a certain time, how often you're going to have friends round. It helps if everyone's on the same page.

I've genuinely loved moments of living in my first ever 'house' house away from Home, and most of those were due to some particularly delicious house-mates. I have learnt a great deal though, and I'm thankful to have the opportunity of practising how to live in a house with people for a year, before having to go out into the world and living somewhere super long-term.

Good luck to all embarking on New House expeditions.

Yours, homely,

Abby

Pride

Just a little thought:

When you put hours of work into something, whether it's an essay, or an entire iPod's worth of tunes, or a cake; anything quantifiable that can be judged by another. When you've put as much thought and effort into it as you possess, and you really think you've done a good job. The emotion when you get that piece of work back, and the person marking it put nowhere near as much effort into looking at it as your attempt deserved, or someone scrolls through your music ("You still listen to them?) or someone disagrees with your cake-decorating style.

Your righteous anger when you've worked truly hard at something, and it's just not appreciated as it should be.

I wish that's how people could be when any platform, be it a television programme or an advert or an acquaintance, makes you feel bad about how you look.

'Hey, Big Shot, I've created this body with 19 year's worth of thoughts and experiences, of course you won't think it's perfect, because you have an entirely different idea of perfection to me.

But it's too late. I've put all this effort in and now I'm not going back. This is what I think is right, and I've got the evidence to prove it. I'm alive, aren't I?

Just because we have a difference of opinion over this, it doesn't mean either of us is wrong. But you should know that you can't change my view by looking down on me.

We make up a diverse and interesting world, and we need a world's population's worth of thoughts to make it as rich as it can be.'

Our appearance and our actions, all going in to create the delicious assortment of humans there are.

Stay positive, and stay yourselves.

Yours, proudly,
Abby

Alphabet Snob

I think of myself as open-minded. I know I haven't always been, and I know I still have aspects to work on now. But, if this makes sense, I thought I knew which parts of life I still needed to accept fully. I thought I was pretty much there on getting to know people by their actions alone, as opposed to their friends or their clothes or their make-up.

So I was floored when I discovered that this was not, actually, the case.

It was brought to my attention that I am, in fact, an Alphabet Snob. Hereby coining the phrase, I mean that I am a person who will shudder at what I believe to be a mispronunciation of that fateful 8th letter of the alphabet.

I'll let you count. Got there? Good.

I am a firm believer in the pronunciation 'Aitch'. Don't know when we learn these things; probably it all just depends on who's teaching us the alphabet in Reception class/pre-school. When did I even learn the alphabet??

My reasoning is that you can't just pronounce everything wrong! No one will be able to communicate at all! Spelling is difficult because people don't pronounce things how they are spelt. 'Environment' has an 'n' - say it! 'Pronunciation' - no 'o' in the middle! Then I remembered about the country we live in. Everyone throughout our history has pronounced everything exactly how they wish. Heard of Trottiscliffe? Well it's said, 'Trosley'. That's the best one I know of. I believe we can blame Henry VIII for a great deal of the weirdness. So clearly, we've dealt with it for centuries, I don't need to start worrying about it now.

After a long discussion with the 'Haitch'-sayer resulting, probably, from them helping me to spell something, I embarked on an embarrassingly long internet research session into the correct pronunciation of 'H'. And I mean, serious. I even tried Google Scholar.

However, the internet, for once, seemed oddly tactful on the subject. The most useful site was BBC news, not, as I was half-expecting, reporting a grisly murder resulting from a disagreement involving the Eighth Letter, but their guidelines for their reporters. The BBC leave it up to individual reporters to pronounce the letter as they will, but if really pushed for an answer will recommend 'Aitch', as it does get few complaints. From snotty old ladies, like me, probably. I by no means claimed a victory overall at this.

The internet as a whole informed me that although 'Aitch' is the original pronunciation, 'Haitch' is not incorrect and is viewed as a dialect-type-thing. Obviously, we don't tell people not to say 'wee' instead of small, or 'aye' instead of yes. Aitch or Haitch, it's up to you.

Language is adapting all the time. I'm among the very, very few to still type 'all right' instead of the new, shortened 'alright', and you only have to read one line of Shakesparrow to remember that English does not stagnate. It's unsurprising that I'm just a touch behind the times, though. I hate change. My one Apple product was a gift, and according to, well, everyone, I do not make full use of its capabilities; I cannot work the family television; I call it a 'television'; I've had the same model of phone, which was my first, for 6 years; I acquired a laptop (another gift) on my 18th Birthday; and I have ab.sol.utely no idea how to work tumblr.

BUT. Fairness is one thing I like to stay on top of. If you're new here, read a couple more posts. So, I will no longer wince or shudder or punch you in the face Well, I didn't do a great deal of that before... if you are a 'Haitch' sayer, I promise.

Then we happened to get on the subject of whether it's pronounced 'clerk' as in 'jerk' or 'clerk' as in 'dark'...

Yours, comprehensively,
Abby

Binary

We like things to be simple. Easy to work out.

If we can't work something out, we like to have an assumption to fall back on. Gives us security, because we like to know things. Stuff. We can see this through scientific experiment, the constant questioning of our existence and the world around us, and the appearance through the ages of religion, to comfort and explain.

You know what's not simple? People.

Think about objects you can put into nice categories. Cars, bicycles, trains, and a finite number of objects we ride on/in are 'methods of transport'. French, Japanese, German and Sign Language and a finite number of ways of communication are 'languages'.

You know what you can't put into categories? People.

We wish it were easier. We wish there were good people and bad people. Did you know that under Gaddafi, Libya's literacy rate went from below 20% up to 85%? Jus' sayin'. Good people to bad things sometimes, and bad people do good things sometimes.

There aren't only normal people and weird people. There aren't only people who think like you, and people who don't. There aren't only atheists and religious extremists. Everybody's a mixture of everything, and we all believe little bits of everything.

You see, the problem with the boxes and the labels and the filing cabinets we insist on creating for everyone else is that soon you put yourself in one, too. The two categories which follow logically are unfortunately, 'Us and Them'. It seems so unfair to ourselves, is the human race really as boring as all that?

Let's celebrate our differences, and love our individuality. Let's recognise that the categories containing humans are infinite, as much as are the fingerprints we leave behind.

Yours, uniquely,

Abby

Gendered Objects

So I bought five umbrellas the other day. Unfortunately, as you might expect from me, it's not for some elaborate costume, but merely preparation for Winter. I lose umbrellas at an alarming rate, and this behaviour is nothing but sensible. Promise.

What disturbed me about these umbrellas though, was the fashion in which they all claimed to be a 'women's small umbrella'. They came in red, light blue, dark blue, and black. How, I implore you to explain to me, are these solely women's umbrellas? Are men only allowed umbrellas of giant proportions, so that they can demonstrate their strength by not being swept off their feet by huge gusts of wind, or so that they can skewer each other when their Neanderthal instincts call? This isolated situation seems like a fuss over nothing, but I'm afraid the 'women's umbrella' is a poster, behind which is hiding a much larger problem.

As I explained in my post To Each Their Own everyone has ways they wish to express themselves, whether through dress, behaviour, or gender identity. This, I think, is the widest area we can cover with one sentence. Anybody can identify themselves in any way they want. If we let this be true, my issues with the world would be reduced by hundreds. Sadly, we can see this statement being denied in multiple tiny ways.

Men traditionally wear trousers, but women, go ahead! Express yourself, for comfort, or practicality, or because you want to. Women traditionally wear dresses, so men, if you wear one, we will stare, and judge, and in some cases, imprison. Yes, women had to fight to have the right to appear a certain way, as black people fought for integration, and homosexual people are still fighting in many parts the world. But it's not a rite of passage! It's wrong to think that any certain group of people need to fight for the way they want to live before they 'deserve' to live it. People cannot be labelled, they cannot be put into neat drawers. "Women like shopping." "Men watch football." "Lesbians have short hair." "Children can run around and express themselves loudly and openly, but when they grow a little older we'll have to explain to them how they should really be behaving." Our society makes us believe all kinds of facts that aren't true, through TV, advertising (this one especially), and recently, tumblr, twitter, youtube, facebook. The number of ways negative messages can be put across to young, impressionable people is slightly terrifying. There is no rule-book you have to follow, there is only the entire world of possibilities that you can pick from, and choose the behaviours you wish to embody.

If the world can learn anything at all, it should be from its past. Wars are fought over religion, people are imprisoned for sexual identity, neighbours treat each other without respect because they worship different gods. None of these things will stop happening until we realise that everyone is free to act in whichever way they wish, as long as they're not hurting others, and that men can use whatever kind of umbrella they jolly well like.

I saw this video today, and it made me happy

Blue

So, who remembers this hair?

Well, guess what?

Blue is back.
It's not uncommon for many requests of an explanation to come my way as to why I indulge in this insanity, so I thought I could try to explain. Returning to my favourite xkcd may clarify my reasoning.

Everyone has creative tendencies, even those who claim to be 'bad at art'. I was terrible at the subject of art at school, but it was always painfully restrictive, and it's no wonder that the people who never received 'proper' training are often the most successful (Van Morrison an excellent example on the music side of things).

I digress. It's healthy for you to express yourself, through clothing, speech, interests, hair colour... Everyone has a need to do so, and there's no point watering down your ideas, your desires of how to behave, to try to conform, or to please people of higher status than you, or for any reason at all. As I said in my last post, if everyone was accepting of each other, everyone would be a lot happier. I think because it would allow complete freedom of expression.

In short, I dye my hair blue because I like to. It's not necessarily my favourite colour, I'm not just trying to draw attention to myself, I just like my hair to be blue. It's that simple. I think the first time I did it back in March it might have been a small test for myself. I'd never dyed my hair, and it was something I had been curious about for quite a while.

The experience has taught me not to second-guess a way I know I want my appearance to change. Do you want to try a new hair cut or colour? Item or colour of clothing you 'know' (think) you can't pull off? My advice is to just go ahead, don't even think about it, and don't look back. For certain, the person who will notice the biggest difference in appearance is you, your peers will be far more interested in your increase in confidence. Living spontaneously makes life so much more interesting. As xkcd points out, we can't just go on living our lives in a pattern, repeating the same behaviours over and over again. Try something different, something you've always wanted to do. Maybe do it tomorrow? Trust me, go for it.

Yours, leaping before I look,
Abby

To Each Their Own

There are some facts I think it is very important that people realise. There is so much hatred aimed at total strangers, all for such pointless reasons, and I want to address people's issues.

All bodies should be celebrated.
Whether they are fatter, or thinner, or taller, or shorter, or more muscular, or of a different skin colour, or more freckle-y, or disabled, or with bigger hands, or with knobblier knees, everyone's bodies are different.
Do not let your insecurities about your own body manifest itself in judgement of others.

All genders should be celebrated.
Not everyone who is biologically female will identify as a woman, and not everyone who is biologically male will identify as a man. These people probably had about as much control over which gender they found themselves as you did.
Do not let your ignorance of the way the human body and mind works manifest itself in judgement of others.

Everyone's dress sense should be celebrated.
Everyone has a way they like to express themselves. People have favourite colours, and brands, and styles of dress. Some will like to wear less than you do, some will like to wear more. Some people will spend a long time on their appearance, and this will hold no interest for others.
Do not let your fear of expressing yourself the way you wish to manifest itself in judgement of others.

In a modern world where we have the opportunity, and the gift, and the right to freedom of expression, the only enemy we're left fighting against is ourselves. If you label people and assume you know them from their appearance, not only are you potentially hurting those individuals, but you're continuing the idea that it is okay for a few select members of society to dictate what is right and what is wrong, when in reality, these rules are non-existent.

Next time you find yourself looking at someone and making a snap decision about their personality/sexual orientation/health status or any other aspect of that person's personal life, answer me this; "Are that person's life choices hurting anybody in any way?" If the answer's no, then you need to decide something else too. You need to examine why you're judging that person's decisions. Is it because you wish you could express yourself in a way similar to them? Is it because a book or a film has given you a false perception of what's beautiful? Is it just habit? If all humans went around doing the same thing and looking the same, quite frankly, my habit of people-watching would be ruined.

The world is beautiful because of its diversity. A flower garden with just one type of rose would not interest anybody.

Instead of looking at everyone else all the time, why not take a look at yourself? Maybe there's some changes you'd like to make to your own appearance, and it is this insecurity which causes you to be so quick to judge others. I can tell you from experience that the happier you are with yourself, the happier you will be with everyone else.

It all just comes down to this

Peace an' Love
Abby