How to Procrastinate

Exams coming up, am I right? No? Ah, must just be a 3,000 word essay, no big thing. Not that either? Damn, you lucky thing. But you know what I mean. When you have something to do, something quite important, which what's more will undeniably improve your life by completing it, and you just can't do it.

Well, I am here to aid that process.

No, really. In my view you should treat procrastination like a teenager determined to be a rebel. The more you make it clear that the teenager can drink in moderation in it or it's friend's house, or can have sex as long as it's safe, the less the teenager will do it just to defy you. In the same way, give in to your procrastination, and soon it'll stop pestering you.

So, procrastination tips. Here we go...

1. Keep trying. Be honest with yourself, have you written the title of your essay/centre of the first spider diagram and grown bored? Don't give up straight away, or that teenager will just drink itself to death. Give it a bit of discipline. Try and keep going for a bit longer, please.
2. Realise that you're no longer productive. You're straying again and again onto Youtube/twitter/tumblr/facebook and just not concentrating. I advise you to stop trying. Give in to the whiny brat. Recognise that it is break-time.
3. Have a break. TIME IT. Make it count. Go outside; grab something to eat (You deserve it - you've written a whole title after all); interact (properly, I mean like face-to-face) with someone. Take your mind off your work.
4. Find an outlet. I find that when all hope is lost, running will rekindle it. I'm yawning, I'm losing all faith in the subject I study, I don't think the high I get from the production is worth the work that has to go into these lines. When running, you don't have to look good, your legs will be moving too fast for anyone to see if they're shaved or not (probably...), and it's real me time. Alone with my thoughts, a stitch in my side, determined not to stop no matter the cost. A better motivator to realise that doing my work IS worth it in the end, I have not found.

So, you return, refreshed and ready and raring to go. Rrrr. The procrastination is over for now. Take tea, remind yourself of the world outside the bubble of hell you're inhabiting. Concentrate.

To get the most out of your procrastination time, it is best if you break up sessions by doing some work in between each one. I have tips for those, too! So prepared.

1. When you get back to your laptop, CLOSE THOSE TABS. Yes, even that one, which you NEVER close. Do it, you'll thank me later.
2. Try to get back to work. Time yourself again, work for an hour, and then you can go back to procrastinating! Safe in the knowledge that you have done at least one hour of productive work today.

There we have it. Abigail's Adventures. Promoting healthy procrastination since 2012. I wish you all the very best with the new hobbies you will invent, the hours you will spend social networking, and the miles you will run.

Yours, distractedly,

Abby